Showing posts with label April Fools Day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April Fools Day. Show all posts

Saturday, April 1, 2017

wildlife conservation

We're humbled and honored to receive an extraordinary honor from the National Society for the Protection of Endangered Species. Our home, tin box, is now a Certified Jackalope Habitat! Their citation notes, in particular, our "dedication to preserving and maintaining the necessary balance of flora, fauna, and topography to support the life cycle of North America's most elusive mammal species."

While there are a handful of other certified habitats for this rare creature east of the Mississippi River, we are the first to achieve Platinum-level certification. The Society's rating system rewards property owners for installing landscape elements that support the jackalope (Lepus cornutus) throughout its life cycle. Pregnant jackalopes ("jennies") prefer folic acid-rich greens, such as spinach and collards, while juvenile jackalopes ("kits") often gorge themselves on wild berries and carotene-rich root vegetables. Our gardens feature areas dedicated to all of these plant species.

The topography of a jackalope habitat is important, too. This shy creature prefers secluded areas sheltered from predators by fallen logs or naturally occurring warrens. The mountainous landscapes of the American West are more conducive to jackalope life, yet even in South Florida we can support jackalope populations by carefully crafting wildlife habitats using available materials, such as our coral rock boulders and piles of fallen banana leaves.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Announcing tin box's new partnership with IKEA

We are pleased to announce that tin box is now an official supplier to IKEA USA! Starting today, you will be able to purchase our sustainably ranched house rabbits, which IKEA will sell under the name Lïvstök. The rabbits are, of course, raised in a free range environment and fed only organic produce from our own garden. Initially, we are offering rabbits in three color schemes, but we are experimenting with new color combinations as we respond to the ever-changing tastes of the Millennial generation.

Rabbits are the ideal pet for small spaces, such as dormitory rooms, apartments, and your parents' basement. Their vegan diet also aligns nicely with many Millennials' cruelty-free lifestyles.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

introducing mud hut

We’re pleased to announce that, today, we’ve begun transitioning from tin box to mud hut. Our new venture is rooted in a concern for timeless methods of construction, which utilize materials and building technologies that are inherently sustainable and carbon neutral. We plan to build a new home utilizing locally-sourced bamboo for the framework, with a fiber-reinforced mud infill (hence the new moniker, mud hut). We will adapt the traditional Miccosukee palm thatch roof to fit the house, though we’ll need to reinforce it a bit to support our photovoltaic panels.

Because Miami is poor in clay resources, the mud infill will be made largely from cow manure, mixed with straw for reinforcement. The dung needs to be mixed while wet, which can be a smelly job; luckily, we have two teenagers who have yet to start earning their keep. We expect resistance from the municipal building authorities, of course, who are famous for their irrationally anti-telluric biases.

Monday, April 1, 2013

bidding tin box adieu

After eight great months at tin box, it's time to move on. With the South Florida real estate market picking up, our strategically located lot has garnered a lot of interest, and, finally, we have accepted a generous offer from a neighbor and Burger King franchisee who is going to build a new BK in South Miami. While this will necessitate the demolition of our house, we are excited by the opportunity to bring high quality, affordable food to the neighborhood. Burger King uses only the freshest ingredients in their award-winning food products. And, quite honestly, this whole "sustainability" fad has really played itself out, hasn't it? We'll soon start blogging about our next project, a seven-bedroom Mediterranean Revival home in a lovely gated community.